What Hurts the Most
by Cassandra Mulder
Summary: When Clark finally comes to his senses, he finds out it's too late. Chlark, Batman Begins Crossover


**Title: **What Hurts the Most  
**Author: **Cassandra Mulder  
**Rating: **PG  
**Classification: **Smallville; Chlark; Chloe/Bruce Wayne; futurefic/AU; angst  
**Spoilers: **None.  
**Disclaimer: **_Smallville_ belongs to AlMiles, Tollin/Robbins Productions, DC Comics, and the WB. _Batman Begins_ is the property of Warner Bros. and DC Comics. No infringement is intended, and you don't want to take me for all I have, because you'd get a whole lotta nothin'.  
**Summary: **When Clark finally comes to his senses, he finds out it's too late.  
**Word Count: **3302  
**Written: **March 7 - 11, 2006  
**A/N: **Clark hijacked this one, without question. It's Chlark with a Chloe/Bruce pairing, and Bruce was supposed to be more heavily featured. So sorry for that. Blame Clark. I blame him for a lot of things. lol My last piece was more comedy than tragedy, so I guess I had to return to that angsty place. Remember, feedback is love. :)

* * *

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
Never knowing what could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Was what I was trying to do  
-"What Hurts the Most" - Rascal Flatts_

The Wayne Manor surpassed any residence the Luthors of Metropolis had ever owned. Clark scowled at its imposing silouhette against the sky. The sun had almost set, and lights were starting to come on around the grounds. They would light the way for the current guests and beckon those that had not yet arrived.

He didn't want to be there, but he had gotten an invitation in the mail and he had never been able to say no to her.

Chloe Sullivan was marrying Bruce Wayne in five months, and Clark was realizing how stupid he had been for over ten years.

The cream colored card stock with the bold black script had stared up at him from his kitchen counter for two weeks. He had only decided to fly to Gotham to be at the party twenty minutes before.

Chloe's engagement party.

He looked up at the house again and shook his head. He had no idea what he had been thinking. The weight of jealousy had settled in his stomach the minute he had ripped open the envelope. Nothing had gotten rid of it since, and he knew seeing her again was only going to make it worse.

He made up his mind to walk away and let it go, but then he heard her voice. Unbidden, from at least a mile away, she was still the only one that could work her way into his consciousness without even trying. Her laughter mingled with the others around her, and she called out to Lana. He assumed she must have been there with Lex, her husband of two years.

"Have you seen Clark?" Chloe asked, and he heard the worry in her voice.

He sped up the long and winding driveway, halting at the door to run a hand through his hair and make his tuxedo presentable. He rang the doorbell, and it was answered by Alfred, Bruce's butler.

"Good evening, Mr. Kent," Alfred greeted him.

"Alfred, I've told you to call me Clark," he said, even though he knew it was useless.

"Of course, sir," he said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He took Clark's coat and ushered him inside. "Miss Sullivan has been asking after you."

"I know," Clark said with a sigh and Alfred gave him a knowing smile.

Clark wandered slowly through the mansion. He had been there a few times before on "superhero business" as Chloe liked to call it. Superman and Batman didn't share the same city, but they had been required to pull together on a few occasions to ensure the safety of the world. They cooperated because they had to, but they weren't super friends and they both knew and accepted that. Something just didn't click, and their alliances were tentative at best.

Where they could accept that, Chloe seemed to have a harder time with it.

She had been the star reporter at _The Daily Planet_ since her graduation from Met U, but when Bruce Wayne had come calling on behalf of an ailing _Gotham Gazette_ she'd had a choice to make.

When it came down to it, she had said that she could either be adored at a well established paper, or she could prove her true worth at a paper that needed bolstering. Chloe always liked a challenge, and she had taken a job halfway across the country from her beloved Metropolis to prove something to herself and everyone else.

That had been her excuse anyway. Clark had a sneaking suspicion that the fact that their relationship had become more strained the older they got had something to do with her decision to leave. He could take out heinous criminals on the city streets on a daily basis, but he hadn't had the courage to do what they both really wanted. His heart was guarded more carefully than even his secret, and it had kept him from saying and doing a lot of things he had said and done in his head a million times.

He reached the ballroom and scanned the crowd. He had no idea how one person could know so many people, but he figured everyone had turned out to see who could possibly have tied down Gotham's most eligible billionaire bachelor. He knew they wouldn't be disappointed.

"Clark!" Chloe said and he saw her blonde head winding through the maze of guests.

He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her as she threw herself in his arms. He hugged her tightly and when she finally let him go, she gave him a once-over.

"Where have you been?" she said, sounding slightly out of breath. "I've been looking all over for you. Is everything okay in Metropolis?" She frowned.

Clark laughed. "Everything's fine. I just thought I'd be fashionably late," he joked.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Right. You're usually late, but never fashionably," she teased.

"Funny. Where's Bruce? Schmoozing, I suppose," he said.

"Not that he has to, but he's been mingling, yes. I think I've been introduced to approximately one million people tonight."

"That many," Clark said, amused with her exaggerations. "Does the fire marshal know about this?"

"Out here in the boonies? I doubt they care," Chloe said, glancing around. "I seem to have lost my fiancé."

"Hmmm," Clark murmured, secretly wishing it was true.

"Have you gotten a drink yet? This was supposed to have a dinner, but then that got out of hand, so now it's a buffet. Or a glorified snack bar, as I like to refer to it," she laughed.

"No, not yet. Aren't there usually waiters with trays wandering around these things?"

"Usually. I think we have a lot of drinkers here tonight," Chloe whispered. "My last glass of champagne was an hour ago, and that's when I got here."

Clark saw Bruce come up behind Chloe and put a hand on her shoulder. She turned into his touch.

"There you are!" she said brightly. "We were just talking about you."

Bruce gave her a look. Clark thought it was almost amused, but he couldn't be sure.

"All terrible things. Promise," she laughed.

_Well, she can read his expressions anyway_, Clark thought.

"That's good, darling. I have a reputation to maintain," Bruce said, winking at her.

She smiled at him, and Clark didn't think he had ever seen her so happy.

"Kent," Bruce finally acknowledged him with a nod.

"Wayne," Clark responded in kind.

"Don't get too friendly, boys. You'll start to worry me," Chloe said sarcastically.

"How are things in Metropolis?" Bruce asked.

Clark shrugged. If the bat could play civil for Chloe, so could he. "Fine. No major crisis as of late. Gotham?"

"Always some nut running around in a costume," Bruce replied.

"I wonder where they got that idea," Clark muttered. Chloe shot him a disapproving look.

"Hell, I don't know. Seen any guys running around your city in spandex lately?" Bruce smirked.

Chloe cleared her throat. Loudly. "Well. Now that you two are all caught up..." She turned to Bruce. "What's a girl gotta do to get a glass of champagne around here? I haven't seen one in ages."

Bruce took her hint. "I'll see about it, Chloe." He kissed her temple and she smiled at him. With a grudging nod to Clark, he went to see why he wasn't getting what he was paying for.

"_That_ was unneccesary, Clark," she said.

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Chloe."

"Sure you are," she said dryly. "What is with you two, anyway? There's absolutely no reason for you two not to get along."

_Oh, yes there is_, he thought. But why should she notice? He had gone long enough without making a move. The fact that he was regretting that now wouldn't have even crossed her mind.

"I don't know," he lied. "Some people just don't get along."

Chloe opened her mouth, but Lex and Lana appeared before she could say anything.

"Clark, good to see you," Lex said, slapping him on the shoulder.

Clark shook his hand. They weren't the best friends they used to be, but they had gotten through the rough patch they had suffered several years before. Lex _seemed_ to have turned his life around, or else he kept his more nefarious activities under tighter wraps, and Clark had gotten over Lana. At least enough that he didn't begrudge Lex his personal victory, and he was standing in a ballroom at his best friend's engagement party wishing he was the lucky guy.

"You, too. How's married life treating you?" he asked, glancing at Lana.

"Fantastic. Did Chloe tell you we're expecting a baby?"

Clark's jaw dropped. "No, she didn't. We didn't really, uh, get around to that. Congratulations." He leaned over to hug Lana.

"I'm only three months along, but we've started telling people." She was positively beaming, and in that moment Clark knew he never would have been able to make her that happy.

"That's really great." Clark smiled and he almost felt like he meant it.

"Thanks," Lana said. She turned to Chloe. "Speaking of the little one..." she laughed. "He or she has been wreaking havoc on my body. Where is the bathroom in this monstrosity?"

Chloe laughed. "I'll show you. Can I leave you two alone?" she said with a pointed look at Clark.

He narrowed his eyes at her as she took Lana's arm and walked away.

"Wow," Lex said. "Did the temperature just drop fifty degrees in here or is it me?"

"Must be you," Clark said.

"What is going on, Clark?"

"I have no idea."

"Might it have something to do with our Miss Sullivan being engaged?"

Clark glared at him.

"I thought so," Lex said. "So I guess I don't have to tell you that you had plenty of chances..."

"Yeah, I know," Clark interrupted.

"That's life."

"Well, life sucks. Thanks for the advice."

"Clark, she's not married yet."

"That always seems to be your advice, Lex. But I really am not into stealing other people's girlfriends." Not that he hadn't tried before, but he really wasn't into it.

"If this is about Lana..."

"Not in the least," Clark said honestly. "That was all me, and it's all over. I'm happy if you two are happy."

"You look happy," Lex said sarcastically. "All I'm saying is you can stand right here, in this very spot, feeling sorry for yourself and pouting about what you can't have, or you can tell her."

"What good would that do?" Clark asked, getting frustrated. "It's too late. Even if I did tell her... Even if it changed her mind, I wouldn't deserve it. She waited forever for me to get it together, and all I ever did was disappoint her. It's great that she finally moved on."

"Except for the part where _you_ didn't," Lex pointed out.

"You're a lot of help, you know that?"

"I try," Lex said, grabbing a drink from a waiter that finally appeared. "You need to stop being so afraid, Clark."

"Of what?" He had never been so sorry he was incapable of getting drunk in his life.

"Of whatever it is you're afraid of." He shot a sardonic look at his scowling friend. "Love. Heartbreak. Whatever it is, you'll never have anyone until you let go of that. I should know. If there was anyone to take that risk with, it would've been Chloe. She was the kind of devoted only Olivia Newton-John ever sang about."

Clark almost laughed. _Almost._ It would have been worth breaking his dour expression for that reference from Lex.

"Thanks for reminding me." He suddenly felt like he was suffocating. But just as he decided to try to escape, Chloe and Bruce appeared again.

"That's taken care of," Bruce said. "All the champagne wasn't delivered at once. Drink up, because it's free now." He laughed.

"That and we ran into Mayor Hull. We couldn't exactly brush him off," Chloe added, looking for all the world like she was still in high school, wondering how she was suddenly in this position.

Clark finally decided to take a chance. He wasn't really sure what chance, but he was willing to take the first step. "Chloe, can I talk to you?" he said where only she could hear.

She glanced at Bruce, then nodded her head. "Bruce, Clark and I are going to get a breath of fresh air, okay?"

Bruce gave no protest, but Clark didn't miss the glare he shot him. He saw him take Chloe's hand and squeeze it, then he let her go.

They stopped to get her wrap, and then they left the crowded mansion, emerging into the cool night air.

"It's a great night," Chloe said, looking up at the stars. "We couldn't have asked for a better one." Clark was silent and she turned to look at him. "Is something wrong, Clark? You haven't been the same since..."

He raised his eyebrows and she caught the gesture in the faint light.

"Since I came to Gotham," she finished, looking him squarely in the eye.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Her look clearly said, "What for?" He mused that it was odd how their physical shorthand was still intact. It was a wonder they weren't psychically linked.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I loved you when I had the chance."

He might as well have slapped her. Tears shone in her eyes, but then her expression turned to stone. She had bunched up the end of her wrap in one hand, and he had a feeling that if she had thought it would do any good she would have tried to hurt him.

"You have no right, Clark." Her whole body was tense, he could see it.

"Don't you think I know that?" he said, running a hand through his hair. "I was too afraid of losing you, and now I've lost you anyway."

Chloe shook her head. "Unbelievable."

"I shouldn't have come. But I got the invitation and I couldn't stay away. I've never been able to stay away, Chloe. Not from you."

She closed her eyes to try to compose herself. When she opened them again her tears were gone and her expression had softened. "All I ever wanted was you, Clark. You pushed me away until I realized that I had to move on with my life before it was too late. I _had_ to leave to do that. Metropolis needed you a hell of a lot more than it needed me. I knew that, and I knew leaving was the only thing to do. But if you had said all of this a year ago, I would have stayed."

"I tried, but it never happened. I wanted to beg you to stay, but something wouldn't let me. Now I'm just hurting you again, and..." He sighed in frustration.

"I can't make it better, Clark. Not for you. I'm happy with Bruce. I love him. I will _always_ love you." She gave him a small smile. "I've never been able to help that. But he gives me what you weren't willing to, and I know he loves me. He has his issues." She wrapped her arms around herself. "But all you superheroes seem to have that problem."

"He's good to you?" Clark asked, even though it felt like he was being ripped apart inside.

"Always. Alfred says he's a lot less moody since he met me," she laughed. "Though trust me, he has his moods. He's been through a lot. I couldn't hurt him for anything in the world." She stared into the distance.

"I'm happy for you," he said and her eyes found him again.

"No, you're not," she said.

"I'm happy that you're happy. Even if it wasn't exactly the way I wanted you to be happy," he said, staring at the ground. _What a disaster._

She smiled at him sadly and came over to stand in front of him. "The next time love comes along, Clark, don't miss it."

He nodded, still unable to meet her gaze.

"The next girl might not wait as long as I did," she said with a slight laugh. "You're a hard guy to get over, though. So who knows?" She slipped her arms around him, her ear pressed to his heart.

His arms automatically went around her, and he could feel her warmth in all the places her little black dress didn't cover. His chin rested on top of her head, and he was reminded of how well they had always fit together, despite their height difference.

"I'm going to miss you." He only realized he had said the words out loud when he heard her sigh.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said softly. She raised her head to look at him. "Things are going to change a lot. We shouldn't kid ourselves about that, Clark. But you will always be my best friend and my first love. _Always._ We've been through way too much together to not be friends anymore, don't you think?"

"Yeah," he said. He didn't know how he would do it, but he would find a way.

She smiled up at him, but he saw the sadness just behind her eyes. "You'll be all right?"

"I'll be all right," he assured her. He had suffered a broken heart before. She would be another crack added to the many, but somehow she was the one that hurt the most.

Chloe pressed her palm to his cheek, stroking up to run her fingers through his hair. "I need to get back. Bruce will be wondering where I am." She was on the verge of tears again.

"I know," Clark said, but he wasn't quite ready to let her go. "Don't take this the wrong way..." he said just before he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers.

She kissed him back softly, her hands flat against the front of his jacket. She smelled of the tiny roses that wound throughout her updo, and she was soft and warm in his arms. He didn't want to let her go, but he finally pulled back and wiped away the few tears that had escaped from her eyes.

"I know it doesn't change anything, but I really am sorry, Chloe."

Chloe stepped out of his arms and shook her head. "It's okay, Clark. Just don't be a stranger, all right?"

"I won't," he promised. He knew in time it might not kill him to see her with someone else. He had a hard time imagining it now, but it might come. "You better get back to your party."

"You're not coming?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Say goodbye to Lex and Lana for me, though I'll probably see them around the city eventually."

"I will," she said.

She started to walk away, but he caught her hand. "One more thing," he said when she turned around.

"What's that?"

"Don't ever let Wayne forget how lucky he is."

She gave him her best mega-watt grin and rolled her eyes. "You know I won't." She squeezed his hand and he let hers go.

He watched her walk back into the mansion, and as the door closed he used his x-ray vision. Bruce was just coming into the foyer, and he put his arm around her waist as they walked back to the party.

Clark turned away, walking for awhile before hovering into the night sky on his way back to Metropolis. Somewhere in the distance he swore he heard Chloe whisper, "Goodbye, Clark."

As he flew at top speed toward his city, he knew the could-have-beens had only begun.

Finis


End file.
